Eeni meeni miney mo your factory has gotta go paranoia in Peoria...
(Spoken to guitar accompaniment, roughly 16 bar blues in G.)
Well we’re sittin over here in Illinoya,
We got a real good story for ya,
We’re a multie national corporation,
Got factories in every nation.
All except one, and that’s in Scotland, and that’s in England.
At least ah thinks so.
See we looked at the economic factors
an we don’ need that many tractors
so we threw a dart an guess where it landed?
Sorry boys, your factory’s disbanded.
At least ah thinks so.
Sons of bitches are still in there.
Next time I looked at the situation,
them bastards had started an occupation,
just tryin to keep their jobs alive,
workin for nothin from nine to five.
Why that’s next to communism
At last ah thinks so
S’what ma granpappy tol me, and he should know
He was Polish.
They sure showed their Commie link,
they built this tractor and painted it pink.
They said it was a symbol, but that was just a front,
they gave the damn thing to War on Want.
Me, I gave at the office. Or was that Bob Geldof?
He’s a Russian too!
Geldoff, Smirnoff, Comiloff, Pissoff, Fuckoff,
It’s all the same thing.
This thing was becomin’ an awful drag
So we put an Ad in the local rag
Sayin’, “You better toe the line now sonny,
Or you won’t git no redundancy money -
An that would just break ma heart.”
YeeeeeeHaaaahhh! Round ‘em on up
And move ‘em on out!
They might think they got us beat,
but we’re OK in our hotel suite.
Wine and women and caviar,
unlimited drink at the hotel bar.
(Drunk) Sho occupy shhuh goddamm fact’ry
Who givshes a shit?
We offered them money but they wouldn’t take it.
Now c’mon boys, you ain’t gonna make it.
We got the power of international finance,
come on boys, you don’t have a chance.
Just what have you got?
You got backing from whole trade union movement,
the support of the whole nation,
international solidarity with workers in Belgium and Holland,
this song from the Rutherglen Centre for the Unemployed Writer’s Group
................Shee-it! Let’s get out of here, boys, the
Goddamm pinkos are takin over.
Well, we wrote this song cos it’s what we think.
Cos we like tractors that are painted pink.
There’s a whole lot more we could’ve said,
we might even have painted the tractor red.
With brown polka dots,
pink fluffy dice hangin on the window,
curtains, maybe a CB
Ten four Caterpillar good buddy.
Anything we want - after all, it’s our goddamn factory.
We had to add this here extra verse.
Things might be gettin better, might be gettin worse,
but I didn’t put no cash in a tin
so a hundred guys could get back in.
All or nothin.
That’s what you said in the speeches.
So Uddingston or Illinois, what’s it gonna be?
(Sung) What’s it gonna be?
Written by the Rutherglen Centre for the Unemployed Writers’ Group, March 1987, last verse Mayday 1987, when offers where accepted for the factory by a consortium.
Mary Friel, Eric Brennan, Gerry Murphy, Aileen Andrew, Peter Arnott, Alan Morrison.